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Sunday, September 13, 2009
Gossip
By Rev. Jerry Herships
Leviticus 19:16
Do not go about spreading slander among your people.Acts 13:15
Brothers, if you have a message of encouragement for the people, please speak.
I have a file of about 60 sermon topics that I have learned to compile once a year at a sermon writing retreat. Having said that, it can feel a little too anal retentive to have ALL my sermons picked out and their dates selected ahead of time. I feel I have to allow room for the Spirit to push its way into my crowded mental space that is packed with magazine articles and wine facts and fight its way to the top of my consciousness.
I do this by looking around my life and seeing if there is a recurring theme that keeps popping up or look at what really pulled my focus this week. Last week I told you that it was my own pride that forced me to take a look at that issue. This week I want to look at something that I think most people do. It is something that serves no good purpose to the person doing it or to the receiver. All ages do it, in all socio economic classes, across all nationalities and races and it has been known to bring down people, companies, churches and governments. Even when I am conscious of it…I still probably do it multiple times a day without even thinking about it and it is totally in contrast to the Gospel. Most people think it is harmless which makes it even more dangerous.
I am talking about Gossip.
The bible actually has quite a bit to say about gossip. I found over a dozen references to it just on first glance. It is clear that this is a topic that, while we may feel it is harmless, the bible thinks differently. Many people have the thinking of Alice Roosevelt Longworth, “If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody…come sit next to me.”
Our society has managed to make an entire industry out of gossip. When I was growing up, People Magazine, was the one magazine that I remember that focused on celebrities and celebrity gossip. Now we only have to look as far as the check out line. There is STAR and US and PEOPLE and NATIONAL INQUIRER and LIFE&STYLE to name just a few. Often we will hear people saying, “Why do they print those? Don’t they know they are ruining people lives with those rumors?” Yet at the same time, we all know why they print them. Magazines are only interested in the business of making money. If they didn’t sell, they would go away. But they do sell. Why?
I think what we have when we talk about Gossip and Rumors and Slander is that, in the process of doing the gossiping, we get the chance, for just a second, to feel superior to another human being. We get the chance to feel better than. We get the opportunity…to judge. It is when we come to this that we quickly realize, that as Christians, that is not our job. Even Jesus himself tells us in John 3:17, “For God did not send his Son into the world to JUDGE the world.”
I can’t help but think that if Jesus isn’t going to judge others, it might be in our best interest to not do it. As Bertrand Russell has said, “no one gossips about other people's secret virtues.” Luke 6:37 says, “Judge not and ye shall not be judged.”
When we gossip it is almost always about tearing others down and building ourselves up. In doing this, I think it can often make us feel better about our own lives. I think this is why celebrity gossip is so popular. It is a way for regular people to put themselves above the celebrities. All other measurements fail. They are often prettier, wealthier and more popular than we are. When we find a kink in their armor, it is our chance to say, “Well, I don’t have THAT going on in my life.”
While I don’t think it is healthy to have too steady a diet of celebrity gossip (of which I gorged myself on for years), I think the more dangerous form is with those people around you; your family, co-workers and friends. Not only are we judging them, in many cases, these rumors can go on to hurt the people around us deeply. It isn’t good for us and it isn’t good for others. When I look back at the moments when I have gossiped, it was almost always to subtly build myself up at the cost of others. When we truly recognize that our worth comes to us as children of God, and no where else, we realize we don’t have to tear others down to make ourselves look good.
We have in our power though something that will not only stop rumors and gossip, it will actually turn around the damage. The author of Acts is talking about it in our second Bible passage. It is words of encouragement.
What we know about Acts is that it is the story of the beginning of the church. It is the second part of a two part story. Part one is The Gospel of Luke. Christian communities were just beginning to form and they were going through growing pains. Acts is the only New Testament book that tells the beginning and expansion of the church. A good portion of it, about one-third, is people making speeches. Acts is a book that tells us how to be the church in non church culture and a book that reveals the relationship of the church to the secular world. Here in Chapter 13 verse 15, Paul is asked to give a word of encouragement. He is being asked to preach. The NRSV uses the phrase, “word of exhortation.” This was a technical term in Jewish homiletics for an edifying sermon or homily concerning God’s saving acts in the history of Israel.”
While we are not often asked to give, “words of exhortation,” we are called to, as Paul was asked to, give words of encouragement to each other. In case you haven’t noticed, it can be a bit of a rough world out there. We need to be there for each other and one of the best and easiest ways is to give each other a word of encouragement. I sometimes think we are so cautious because we don’t want to give each other a big head that we decide that, rather than chance it, we just won’t say anything at all. I say the heck with that. Let’s take the chance that we might give each other big heads. Let’s encourage each other. Let’s lift each other up. You might be surprised by how great it makes you feel to make others feel good.
I have a friend at work that is constantly telling me not to let others get me down. , constantly telling me to stay positive and be happy. That is such a positive thing in my life. I also got an email this week that made my year. It wasn’t flowery and fancy and it didn’t go into sugary sentiment, but it was the nicest email I ever remember getting. That will carry me for weeks, maybe longer. I wonder how hard it was for that person to write that Email? I think a lot of times, words of encouragement are the best return on your investment of kindness there is out there.
I think words of encouragement can become addicting. They often say that in order to stop a bad habit, you need to replace it with a good one. I am going to try to do that this week. I am going to try to replace all the gossiping, rumoring and bad mouthing that I have done with words of encouragement. I encourage you to join me. I think we can literally change people’s moods, days and lives through words of encouragement.
This past week, I was at a prayer breakfast for DenUM, Denver Urban Ministries. A woman got up and talked about how her life was changed and she was able to break free of destructive patterns in her family because she had people who came into her life and believed in her and encouraged her. Those words of encouragement and belief changed her life.
Whose life is out there waiting for you to change it?