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Sunday, September 02, 2007
Learning even more from Theresa
By Rev. Dr. Harvey C. Martz
Psalm 13
1 How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? 2 How long must I bear pain in my soul, and have sorrow in my heart all day long? How long shall my enemy be exalted over me? 3 Consider and answer me, O Lord my God! Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep the sleep of death, 4 and my enemy will say, "I have prevailed"; my foes will rejoice because I am shaken. 5 But I trusted in your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation. 6 I will sing to the Lord, because he has dealt bountifully with me.
You may have seen the Time magazine this week that has a nine page article about Mother Teresa of Calcutta.
The occasion is a new book that will appear later in September containing some of her letters and other writings over the years. Teresa is best known for her work with the desperately ill and desperately poor people in Calcutta and for being the recipient of the Nobel Peace Prize in 1979. Her deep devotion to caring for the poorest of the poor remains as a vivid example of compassion at its best—even ten years after her death.
But what the new book will show us is that even in her faithful work as a nun with the neediest of the needy, she was experiencing loneliness, depression, a sense of the absence of God, and what has been called for centuries “the dark night of the soul”.
She writes to her trusted spiritual advisers about this darkness and doubt and loneliness, and there has been some interesting reaction to this disclosure. Christopher Hitchens is one of the atheist authors who have a book recently on the best seller list. His perspective is this: fundamentalist religion is wrong and harmful and anti-intellectual, therefore all religion is like this and we would be better off without any religion.
It is a straw man argument and those of us who have also rejected fundamentalism but see some healthier alternatives are not impressed with his argument. Marcus Borg and others say about folks like Hitchens, tell me about the god you do not believe in and it is probably the same notion of God that I have rejected as well! But Hitchens says about Teresa’s doubts and loneliness that Teresa was just finally seeing the truth that all religion is a human fabrication.
Other spiritual leaders see this differently including the ones quoted at the top of your bulletin. The Rev. James Martin, editor of the Jesuit magazine America, says that these revelations from Teresa may make her even more influential as a guide and mentor for even more of us in our spiritual journeys. (Does it do that for you?):
“It will provide a new ministry for her perhaps just as important as her ministry to the poor, a ministry to people who have experienced some doubt or absence of God in their lives. And who is that? EVERYBODY. Atheists, doubters, seekers, believers, everyone!!”
The Time magazine article reminds us that the very phrase “dark night of the soul” describing the experience of the absence of God, the darkness or silence of God, was coined by Spanish mystic St. John of the Cross in the 16th century as a reference to a characteristic stage of spiritual growth. And 18th century mystic St. Paul of the Cross described a period of spiritual dryness and darkness that lasted 45 years!
The point is that most of us have felt times of darkness or the absence of God similar to what Teresa describes. We can look back much farther than these spiritual leaders of 500 years ago. We can look back to the Bible itself—most specifically in the Psalms! We began our call to worship with a quote from a Psalm—Psalm 22: “My God, my God, why have you abandoned me?” You may be more familiar with that quote from its use by Jesus himself in the Gospel of Mark. It is the only sentence that Mark records Jesus saying as he was dying on the cross.
There are many other Psalms that express that loneliness and the feeling of the absence of God. Psalm 13 which we just heard: “How long will you forget me God—how long will you hide your face from me?” Has anybody else ever felt that darkness and absence of God? Many other psalmists did as well, and if you have not discovered the Psalms as a rich source for your personal devotional life, let me commend them to you.
They were a source of help for another spiritual example to many of us, another great leader of spiritual depth who experienced the same loneliness and darkness and depression that Teresa knew about. I am thinking about Abraham Lincoln who knew intimately the same feelings of darkness and doubt that Teresa has written about in her letters and journals. And some people say that Lincoln’s experience of darkness and depression made him a more compassionate and more effective leader.
The fact is that every person has these feelings and periods of spiritual dryness. They are typical. They can be expected.
What is wrong is when people have those feelings and then conclude that they cannot be faithful to God or cannot be followers of Christ if they have any doubts or dark times.
We say this frequently here at St Andrew: bring your doubts to church!! This is the very best place for them. You are in good company if you still have some questions and doubts and even some times of darkness and dryness and loneliness. The church is not a museum for saints—it is a place for people to bring all of their questions and doubts and longings and to explore them with others just like themselves—others who even at times echo the words from the psalmist in the Bible: How long, God, will you hide your face from me?
Let me conclude with two more insights about Mother Teresa’s example:
First of all, even with her doubts and her times of darkness, she kept on working. She stayed on the journey of healing and ministering to the poorest of the poor. She did not let those times of dryness and darkness take her off her task. I pray the same for us—that we will continue the work that God has given us with perseverance just as Jesus also must have persevered even when he saw how dense his twelve friends were and even when he must have been discouraged from the fierce opposition he found in, of all people, the respected religious leaders of his time.
Teresa persevered and did her work even in her times of doubt and darkness. May we do the same.
Finally, there is something valuable and important in the time of darkness that we cannot receive in the smoother and pleasant times of life. The book of Isaiah talks about this in a very peculiar, almost offensive way: it talks about the “treasures of darkness”. THE TREASURES OF DARKNESS?? It is almost as offensive as the verse from St. Paul saying God is able to work for good in all things with those who love God. IN ALL THINGS—EVEN DEATH AND SUFFERING AND DEPRESSION AND ILLNESS AND BEING FIRED AND FACING CANCER AND…..
The treasures of darkness?? Yes, because for many of us it is only in the darkness that we finally realize our complete dependence on God; that only in God is our soul at rest as Psalm 62 has it. Only in God. And it is in the times of darkness that we can look honestly at ourselves and see more clearly the need for us to change some things about our lives and about what we have worshipped and how hollow some of our little gods have been.
I read about a psychiatrist who knew the importance of the dark times and used to mildly joke with his friends. When he would ask them, ‘How are you?’ And they would say they were fine, he would say he was sorry to hear that. But if they told him that they were not doing well and that they were hurting, he would tell them he was pleased to know that and invited them to pull up a chair and have a glass of wine and talk together BECAUSE he knew that it is in the dark times, the times of loneliness and pain and even suffering and grief that we can grow and develop and learn the most.
And that therapist would probably say along with the Psalmists, if you are feeling some times of absence from God and some dry spiritual periods—welcome to the club and let’s use those times to draw us even closer to the best in ourselves and ironically, even closer to God!!
I want to look at the entire content of Psalm 13 and see the movement from loneliness to faith: it does begin with the lament to God: How long will you hide your face from me and I must then bear pain in my soul. But it also ends as Mother Teresa life ended—with an affirmation of trust and faith in God: My heart will rejoice in your salvation and I will sing to you O’ God because you have dealt generously with me. May our expressions of loneliness and distance end up with the same trust as well!