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Sunday, September 20, 2009
Love Yourself
By Rev. Jerry Herships
Galatians 5:14
14For the whole law is summed up in a single commandment, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”
I started today’s topic knowing what I wanted to say and knowing the verse, but I must admit, I couldn’t remember where the verse was in the Bible. I was almost positive it was one of the Gospels, and I was pretty certain it was in Matthew. I was right, mostly. It is in Matthew…and Mark….and Luke…and Galatians…and Romans…and Leviticus...and James. It’s in the Bible EIGHT TIMES, EIGHT TIMES! What does this mean?
Do you know how many commands there are in the Bible? Any guesses? Take a stab. How about 6,468? There are people with time on their hands who count stuff like this. I bet you didn’t see that coming. Over six thousand! And yet here in Galatians, we are told that the WHOLE LAW is summed up in a SINGLE commandment.
For me…and I think this is true for most people as well…the loving my neighbor is the easy part or at least easier. Loving my neighbor is a piece of cake compared to the second part…as yourself. OH NO! ANYTHING BUT THAT! We, as a people, don’t do that very well. Last week we talked about lifting others up instead of tearing them down. I hope you were able to throw around a few compliments, cut down on the gossip, and lift your people up instead of tearing them down. Now comes the hard part. Lift yourself up.
Many of us have some pretty mean tracks playing in our head. While I often think it wasn’t us who put those tracks there originally, we are the ones who keep the tracks alive. Sometimes the tracks we play are much meaner than the original tracks someone gave us.
Loving ourselves might be the hardest commandment there is for many of us. I think those tracks keep us from living the life that God wants us to live. Remember, John’s Gospel tells us that God wants us to have life and have it ABUNDENTLY. That doesn’t mean multiple swimming pools, it means a life full of joy and happiness and fulfillment. I think what holds a lot of us back, it has held me back numerous times, is this difficulty with loving ourselves. Some of the names we call ourselves in our head are not all that kind. W.C fields put it well, “It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.” So what do you answer to?
Here is the thing that we see over and over again in the Gospels. God’s love for us is unconditional. That means WITHOUT CONDITION. It is not, “when we do this…” or “when we fix that” about ourselves. This is not to say that we won’t change, but it is the act of unconditional love that makes us WANT to change.
I’m going to freak some of you out now. God’s love is not about repentance. That would suggest that IF we do this or STOP doing that, then God will love us and that’s the wrong order. God loves us first. I think it is this act of unconditional love that gives us the desire to change. If it doesn’t go in this order, it’s just a contract. “Sign here,” so it looks like everything is in order. You agree to change, I’ll agree to love you. That is SO not God’s MO.
I am reading an amazing book right now called The Orthodox Heretic: and other Impossible Tales by Peter Rollins. He has a Ph.D. in Post Secular Religious Theory and he looks like a Rock Star. He calls Belfast home and leads a community there called Ikon. In his book, he points out that we see time and again, in Jesus’ life and parables, that love and acceptance come first.
In the prodigal son, the father goes running to welcome the boy back, not yet knowing if the boy is sorry and remorseful for leaving. The love comes first. When it comes to tax collectors and sinners, it wasn’t that Jesus was eating with people who used to lead a questionable life and who have now turned them around, (remember “Repent” means to change direction). The religious leaders loved a good, former sinner. It was the current sinners they had a problem with but Jesus didn’t. Remember Jesus wasn’t eating with FORMER tax collectors and FORMER sinners. Jesus loved them RIGHT WHERE THEY WERE. And he loves us right where we are as well.
So the question is, if Jesus loves you right where you are, shouldn’t you?
Again, this is not always so easy to do. One of the Herships favorite shows started up again this week. THE BIGGEST LOSER just started season eight. This season is called “second chances.” It is an inspirational show as it inspired me to go back to the gym the next morning at 5am after a ___ month hiatus.
My concern and hope is that all the work and accomplishments help the contestants learn to love themselves a little bit more. You can see the self loathing on the show when a new season begins. As the season progresses, you see the contestants gain confidence. I always hope it sticks.
The people on this show are not that different from you and me. We all beat ourselves up over our favorite hot buttons. Either it is our size or our looks or our age, or our finances, or our relationships, or our intelligence. I know it is really easy to forget that my excellence comes from being a child of God. I just don’t believe God cares much about our body fat or our bank balance or our IQ. God’s desire for us is to love each other AND ourselves.
So this verse appears in one form or another eight times. Bibles used to be a rare commodity. The printing press wasn’t invented until the 1400’s. Prior to that, very few people had Bibles. It wasn’t until the 300’s that the 66 books of the Bible were actually agreed upon as The Bible. Remember Bibles were originally written and rewritten by hand. It was long, tedious work. For something to even make it in the Bible was a pretty big deal. The fact that this commandment appears eight times suggests that this must be an important point. So important, in fact, that it shows up in the Old Testament, Paul’s letters…in multiple spots, and THE GOSPELS. It is clear the one behind the good book does not want us to forget this point.
So are you doing it? What do you do to care for yourself? When was the last time you treated yourself to something? Do you even think you deserve to treat yourself to something? Now I am not talking about going out and spending beyond your means or being a glutton or flying off to Vegas. I am just saying that when someone suggests an idea that might be construed as pampering yourself, how do you react? What do you think of when someone suggests getting a pedicure or going out for an ice cream cone or maybe a nice steak? Kierkegaard said, “Don't forget to love yourself.” Often times this is easier said than done.
Laura and I went to Dirk’s last Sunday after the service and got a couple of beers and some Nachos. It felt so decadent! Loved having a Nacho’s and beer date with my bride! Now we aren’t going to do that everyday and a PBR and a 7 layer dip is not exactly “going crazy.” But Sunday is a 13 hour day for BOTH of us and it feels good to treat ourselves every now and then. Do you give yourself permission to do that?
Many of us have been raised to put ourselves last. While I see the selflessness of that attitude, what happens, many times, is that we get so burned out that there is nothing left to give others. This verse tells us to love our neighbor AS OURSELF. It is assuming we already love ourselves. Lucille Ball said, Love yourself first and everything falls into line. If we don’t treat ourselves well, we CAN’T treat our neighbors with love and kindness because over time, it will just build into animosity and resentment. It’s like when you fly and experience turbulence…put your own mask on first. It is the only way you will be of any use to others. Loving yourself is putting your own mask on first.
The purpose of this section of Galatians is to instruct us on how, as Christians, we are to live our lives. It is practical instruction on what is the Christian basis for our day to day living. This is common in Paul’s letters. He starts off with a base, which is usually a high minded theological section and then moves into a Christian ethics section. While this letter was not addressed to us directly, because we are what is called, the secondary audience, it was addressed to the Galatians. We come to realize after looking at the letter for awhile that the people in that community struggled and wrestled with many of the same things we do today. We realize it addresses basic issues of Christian faith.
I want to make sure I am clear about loving yourself. This is not the same as being selfish. In fact, as many of you know in this community, some of the best feelings you can have are when you are helping another. Helping others has to come from a place of joy, not a place of obligation or guilt. No matter what we are giving, it should come from a place of joy. In 2 Corinthians chapter 9, the Bible itself teaches us that God loves a cheerful giver. Not out of compulsion or with regret. It is the same way with how we give our time and talents to others. When it comes from a place of joy, we receive the pleasure as well. The giving is a gift back to us. It is a way we can love ourselves. When we give from joy, the pleasure we receive back is a way to love ourselves. It is in the act of loving our neighbors that we find a true and timeless way of loving ourselves.
And with this we see the circle is unbroken. We see how loving others IS loving ourselves. One feeds the other. It is in the giving that we find our happiness. It is when we love our neighbor that we ARE loving ourselves. The greatest gift we can give ourselves is that feeling we get from putting our love out into the world.
That good feeling will last a lot longer than a pedicure or beer and nachos…though don’t rule those out completely.