Library
Sunday, February 07, 2010
The Road:
Part 4: What to Pack; Gratitude, Compassion, Forgiveness
By Rev. Jerry Herships
GRATITUDE: Thessalonians 5.16-18
16Rejoice always, 17pray without ceasing, 18give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.
FORGIVENESS: Luke 23:34
34Then Jesus said, “Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing.”
COMPASSION: 2 Corinthians 1:3
3Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort. (NIV)
We are finishing up our sermon series taking us down this road we call life. We are at the point where, after unpacking the things we don’t need last week, envy, anger, and resentment, we now have the room to pack really good stuff. We are going to look at three Bible passages that illustrate each one of these three concepts. Consider these the ABC’s of being happier as we walk down this trip called life. They are:
ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE
BELIEF IN THE POWER OF FORGIVENESS
CARE OF COMPASSION
GRATITUDE: Thessalonians 5.16-18
16Rejoice always, 17pray without ceasing, 18give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.
The Roman philosopher, Cicero, believed that gratitude is not only the greatest virtue, but the parent of all others. So it is, for that reason that we begin with gratitude.
Science has recently discovered scientific proof that when people regularly engage in the systematic cultivation of gratitude, they experience a variety of measureable benefits: psychological, physical and interpersonal. What is even more impressive is friends, family, partners and others, who surround them consistently, report that people who practice gratitude seem measurably happier and more pleasant to be around.
Gratitude is about being thankful for what you have been given but it is more than that. An additional, essential aspect of gratitude is the idea of receiving something that we don’t even deserve. Some people call this undeserved merit. It was given out of compassion or generosity or love. We in the God business, call this Grace.
Elizabeth Bartlett is a professor of political science. At 42 she received a heart transplant after having a heart attack and medicine failed to prove helpful. When she wrote about her journey, she said that gratitude didn’t end with being thankful. For her it also included the desire to do something in return. This was not from a place of obligation but rather a desire to “pass it on.”
Paul speaks in this passage about being grateful no matter what the circumstance. He speaks of being thankful in all things, in good and in bad. In another passage he closes by saying, I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me.
Ben Stein, a comedian and one time presidential speech writer gave an address at Ithaca College. He said we’re all heirs and heiresses to a society of freedom and plenty that most of us did absolutely nothing to earn. It just fell in our laps. This is not to say you can’t be proud of the things you accomplish, but realize it is in conjunction with the help of others. It is when we realize this that gratitude begins to take root.
Dietrich Bonheoffer wrote, in ordinary life we hardly realize that we receive a great deal more than we give, and that it is only with gratitude that life becomes rich.
According to one study quoted in Robert Emmons book THANKS!, the three primary factors influencing what is called the chronic happiness factor are intentional activity, set-point, and circumstances. Intentional activities are things like gardening, exercise, socializing, things we can control. Set-point comes from our genes and circumstances and things that happen to us. While we tend to think that our happiness is determined by circumstance, win the lottery vs. bad accident, this research suggests that circumstances make up only 10% of the determining factor.
Paul tells us to pray without ceasing and to give thanks in all circumstances. Gratitude is at the center of enjoying our trip.
FORGIVENESS: Luke 23:34
34Then Jesus said, “Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing.”
As hard as it can be sometimes to show gratitude, I think the main reason for this is that we just forget. We forget to think the words “thank you.” Very few people I know don’t want to be unthankful. They do want to be thankful. They just get so busy…they forget.
Forgiveness is different. A lot of people may say they want to forgive. They even say I WISH I could forgive. It is not that people forget to forgive. They remember they SHOULD forgive, they just can’t. In fact it is this remembering that set things off. Maybe you are one of those people. Again, we have Jesus as our perfect model. He was unjustly convicted, spit on, tortured, and then hung on a cross to die. It was while dying on the cross that he pleads to God to forgive his oppressors.
Often our scenarios aren’t so dire and yet they are still serious. People hold on to grudges for years. Lewis B. Smedes was a theology professor and author. He wrote one way to know if your forgiveness is genuine is this.
“You will know that forgiveness has begun when you recall those who hurt you and feel the power to wish them well.”
I have had a couple of people in my life that I said I forgave but really at the time, I don’t think I could have passed Smedes’ test.
At 4:14 pm on Feb. 11, 1990, Nelson Mandela walked out of the detention center he called home for 27 years. And he forgave his jailers.
Bishop Desmond Tutu talks about the Craddock Four. The police ambushed their car, killed them in the most gruesome manner, and set their car on fire. When, at a hearing, the teenage daughter of one of the victims was asked: would you be able to forgive the people who did this to you and your family? She answered, “We would like to forgive, but we would just like to know who to forgive.”
While forgiveness is hard, it is the first step towards healing.
COMPASSION: 2 Corinthians 1:3
3Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort. (NIV)
This is what happens when we break down the definition of compassion. The pre-fix com literally means with, passion comes from the root patient which means, one who suffers. Compassion literally means to be with those who suffer.
I had to get clear in my own head the difference between GRACE and COMPASSION. They are close but different. GRACE has to do with forgiving someone who doesn’t deserve forgiveness, undeserved forgiveness. COMPASSION is about sympathy for the suffering of others, often including a desire to help.
When it comes to situations like the work we do in Civic Center Park, we are showing compassion. Grace comes from God and is between God and us. Grace deals with God’s love and forgiveness that is given even when we don’t think we deserve it.
I will close with a story of something that happened to me this past week.
I went to a bar in downtown Denver that I had never been in before. I had heard about it because of its age. It was built in the 1920’s and I am a sucker for nostalgia bars and old saloons. It was rundown and less than fancy but I went in the late afternoon and got a beer at the bar. The wonderful thing about sitting at the bar is that you can always, ALWAYS, get into a conversation with the person next to you if you want to. The man next to me and I started watching an old western playing on the TV. We started laughing about how bad it was. He said I looked familiar. I told him it was my first time in there. He said, “Nope, I never forget a face, or a laugh.”
As we started talking he began telling me that he was a poker dealer. I didn’t even know that was a “job.” He showed me his gaming license cards for Vegas and Biloxi. He told me he was taking a break from dealing now and had just gotten out of the hospital and was focusing on healing up. Great guy, good conversationalist and I enjoyed talking with him. I finished my beer and I started to get up to leave when he told me if I ever wanted to learn how to play poker he would teach me. He had told me earlier that he had taught Dom Deluise, Gwyneth Paltrow, and a few other show biz types. He told me I could make a lot of money. I told him that probably wasn’t a good idea, considering my other job. When I told him what I do for a living he stopped and stared at me. He said, “That’s where I know you from.” He paused and his eyes watered up a bit. He said, “I don’t have any health insurance and after I got out of the hospital I was completely broke and had nowhere to go…you gave me a sleeping bag in Civic Center Park about two weeks ago. I think you might have saved my life. I can’t thank you enough.”
Being with those who suffer, there’s no greater gift we can give. I walked out of that bar feeling as good as I have ever felt. That is the key to living a compassionate life, when we are willing to suffer with others, rather than making both of us worse, we often find that through just being with them we both feel better.
The suffering is less when it is shared. God never causes suffering. Rather, as we see in the scripture today, God is with us through any and all suffering. When we show compassion, we are living the characteristics of Jesus who modeled God character for us.
Gratitude, Forgiveness, Compassion…three things you should always make sure you have room for as you travel down your road.